Question from S.: “I am having trouble with my RA. She treats me as if I’m a child and that I don’t matter. How do I deal with this situation?”
Ben Says: Well S., I find that most times when I feel like I’m being treated like a child, it’s mostly my imagination, but in this case, I’ll assume you have thought through that. I would suggest trying to get to know your RA, if she knows you more personally, she is more likely to treat you well and trust you more. RA’s need to be wary of the people they are watching, sometimes that can come across as condescending and her treating you like a child. If it continues to worsen, confront her, but for now, maybe just try to get to know her. Say hi to her, use her name, it should help a lot. Show her you respect her, and she should do the same back.
Shannon Says: RA’s can be very difficult, especially if they are new or older than you. The best way to deal with this is to not poke the bear. When she is treating you like a child don’t retaliate with comments and such. This will only make her treat you like one more often. Try getting to know her better, start up a conversation, let her know your responsible and since we are all adults you would like to be treated like one. I have to say being treated like a child even by my own parents has to be one of the most annoying and angering things. If she continues to do it and has no good reason for it confront her, make sure you have instances in mind that you can use if she asks for times she treated you like a child. If it can’t be worked out move on and just realize that if you did everything you could and she still doesn’t get it then she’s not going to and you should just try to stay away from her.
Question from R: “How do I get my boyfriend to stop playing so much WoW?”
Ben Says: Well, in this day and age, computers rule most peoples lives, it’s starting to become a problem. Even though some studies suggest that playing video games, especially problem solving/strategizing RPG’s, can improve problem solving skills and help with real-world skills. Now, how to get your boyfriend off the computer…I’m not so sure. You could tell him it bothers you that he plays so much and you feel left out, but really, nowadays, it’s hard to get them off the computer. If telling him it bothers you doesn’t work, maybe entice him to go on dates with you, maybe go on walks, it doesn’t have to be expensive. If it gets to the point where he just totally ignores you, you need to start thinking if this relationship is working out.
Shannon Says: What Ben says is very true, a lot of things in life are now on the computers. But I wouldn’t care how much it improves his problem solving skills if it comes to the point where he pays more attention to it than me, we would be having a talk. Tell him that he spends too much time on the computer and get him to do things with you like Ben said. But you also have to look at it as when he is playing what are you doing. Are you working on homework where he wouldn’t even be able to socialize with you anyways. If that’s kind of the case then you could come to a compromise, he can play while your doing homework, and he can even be with while you do your homework. So you are still spending time together but you are both doing something you want/need to do.
Question from Sleep Deprived: “My roommate parties every weekend and has friends over until early in the morning during the week. I don’t want to get in the way of her social life but I need privacy and sleep. What should I say?”
Ben Says: I would just come out and tell him/her because if you don’t, it will just build up, someone will snap, and you two will hate one another and that’s not a good situation to live in. So my best advice, just go for it and tell him/her. If they won’t fix it after that, keep reminding them, if that doesn’t work…get a new roommate. I know that sounds harsh, but some friends/people are just not meant to live together.,p
Shannon Says: I have to say I have never had this problem, because I was the roommate that went out and didn’t come back till early in the morning. But I was always as quiet as possible and talked to my roommate about my late hours and made sure that I wasn’t bothering her and if I was I would change something. You would have to talk to her about her late hours and portray your needs for sleep and peace. If you two are new roommates then it will take sometime to get used to each others ways. But you should be able to talk to each other about this and work something out. And don’t worry about hurting her social life, if you guys are rooming together then you are good enough friends to talk about this stuff. My past roommates have never had a problem confronting me and we never had an issue working it out so we were both happy.